What to do When a Direct Report Won’t Take Your Advice

Have you ever had a direct report who constantly gripes about problems? But when you offer them advice, they seem to make excuses as to why your suggestion won’t work? It can be extremely frustrating to feel as though the individual won’t even try your suggestion.

As managers, we typically have the skills to do the job of our direct reports. When problems arise, it is hard not to just tell someone exactly what to do or to step in and do it ourselves. But both of those actions may result in inaction from your direct report. Why? Well when we dictate to someone what they need to do and they instead do something different, it usually is an indication that our advice doesn’t work for them. 

All individuals are different and the way they work through problems varies. Oftentimes, the employee is not ignoring you because they think you are incapable or dim-witted. They are usually ignoring your advice because it isn’t the right advice for them and their situation. Employees bring their own set of skills, experiences, and perspectives into their roles. And these factors are different than the factors you bring into the same role. So although you might have navigated similar situations and have really great ideas, not all elements are the same. 

So what can you do instead? 

Shifting to a coaching management style in these situations can be more impactful to your employee. A coaching management style guides your direct reports through a situation, putting more focus on collaboration, support, and guidance. You still set the goals and expectations but a coaching style allows your direct reports autonomy as to how they will achieve the goals and expectations. As the manager, you will still offer support and guidance along the way. A coaching management style can increase trust between your employees. It can also eliminate frustration in a manager from the inaction among employees. Instead, you are equipping your employees with tools and resources to work through problems on their own. It empowers your direct reports. 

As you navigate a manager-coach style, there are many models you can use to support your employees. The GROW model is a great one to use when your direct reports come to you with a problem. It focuses on leading them to make their own conclusions and decisions. Focus on listening and refrain from offering suggestions. Let’s look at the GROW model a little closer. 

GOAL

When an employee comes to you with a problem, first ask them “What is your Goal?” What are you looking to accomplish in this situation? This will help them identify the most important elements of the problem. 

REALITY

Ask them about the current situation. What have they done thus far? What things have been working and what has not been working. This will help them sort through their options while also ruling things out. 

OPTIONS

Next, ask them about their options. What are some things they are considering doing? This is also the step in the GROW model where you can ask them if they would like suggestions. If they are open to ideas, you can add in some options. But be respectful if they do not want to hear your options. 

WHAT NEXT

After you have worked through G-R-O, simply ask them “What next?” What do they plan to do now and where will they start? This moves them into an action phase. Make sure to ask them how you can help and support them through the process. 

If you have never used the GROW method with your direct reports before, they may be a little confused during the first few iterations. This method can take some getting used to for all parties. You may even want to directly tell your employees about the change you are making, and how you are trying a new tool to deal with problems. It will allow them more autonomy in their decision-making process and you will be offering more guidance in problem situations. Over time, this method will begin to feel more natural. 

Moving to a coaching management style will help you to be an empowered and engaged supervisor as well as create empowered and engaged direct reports. Take note if you begin to see a shift in your employee/manager relationships if the level of trust between you and direct reports changes, and if you eliminate the frustration of employee inaction.  This is GROW in action!

Celebrating your success,

Krista Ryan