How A Leader Can Address Conflict and Difficult Conversations in the Workplace
Overall, most of us were never taught how to communicate with one another especially when it involves conversations that are deemed difficult to have. We often think, a not positive conversations results in worst-case scenarios. We think our job is at risk, our character is being questioned, or we can't make mistakes along the way.
However, having difficult conversations and addressing tension and conflict is actually the healthiest thing we all can do to create a safer environment for employees at every level to feel valued.
Do any of these types of situations sound familiar to you?
You’re project lead, and someone else on the team doesn’t meet their deadline, either pushing you into overdrive or a delay in the overall project.
The boss of the company keeps you out of the loop on recent hires or fires.
You are the manager and are having a difficult time expressing someone’s performance slipping.
Two employees had conflict happen outside the office but have clearly brought that conflict into the workplace making everyone feel uncomfortable and awkward around them.
You and another employee are working together on a big project and have completely opposing views making it feel impossible to start, let alone find momentum and finish the project.
Let’s talk about the frustration of being involved in any one of these situations and how they snowball when they are not addressed. Our guess is that you have endless stories about situations like above. They happen in every organization, it’s normal. However, what doesn’t happen in most organizations are healthy conversations addressing the conflict and the changes that need to be made. Instead, we typically talk with our coaches or work friends and complain about the issues instead of coming up with solutions to fix them. This only perpetuates the problems.
Naturally, this is ineffective. The result of this is less team synergy, delays, continued tension, and an unmotivated team. We understand many of us don’t want to intentionally make someone feel small or embarrassed by discussing a current issue; however, this is a short-term and perceived problem. Again, difficult conversations don’t have to result in worst-case scenarios, and the quicker we talk about the issues the quicker we can get back to a more synergistic environment.
So, we typically expect leaders to be good at having conversations that make people feel valued in all case scenarios, however, most leaders weren’t taught what skills they need to practice. Is this you?
Here are skills to practice as a leader to address conflict and difficult conversations:
Identify areas in your organization with resistance and what’s causing it.
Be curious about the situation rather than jumping to conclusions about it.
Be non-judgemental in your observations.
Create a safe environment for others to learn.
Allow and facilitate input from others.
Let’s look at one of those examples.
You’re project lead and someone else on the team doesn’t meet their deadline, either pushing you into overdrive or a delay in the overall project.
In this example, there is resistance to deadlines, working overtime, communication, and overall a lack of flexibility.
At first, it may seem that the person that didn’t meet their deadline is at fault for the frustration AND the result of a timeline change. However, be curious. Did something else cause the delay in the project? Did something happen internally that was missed? Was there a change in the supply chain? Did something happen in the employee’s personal life that you should be mindful of? You don’t know until you hear all sides of the story. Stay curious.
If someone dropped the ball, don’t judge their character or lack of discipline. Lead with empathy and be reminded that any mistakes made were made by a human being.
Have a conversation with everyone involved, while sharing ways in which this can be resolved and allowing this to be a teaching moment.
Give space for feedback. This allows things to be different in the future.
These practices will help you get out of reaction mode as a leader, and in turn create tangible solutions instead of bandaids that will come back to haunt the organization time and time again. Oftentimes, when we react quickly to a situation we lose sight of all the information causing us to create solutions that don’t help everyone involved or fix the root of the problem. As with anything, these practices get easier with actual practice! Book a call with your coach today to practice how to address difficulty and conflict in the workplace.
Celebrating your success,
Krista Ryan